How to Go from 100 Baby Names to One

The list that never shrinks

You started with a sensible list. Fifteen names, maybe twenty. Then your partner added theirs. Then you found that Reddit thread. Then the baby name book arrived.

Now you're staring at a spreadsheet with 90 names, a notes column full of question marks, and no clearer sense of direction than you had three months ago. Every time you cross one off, you add two more. The list isn't a shortlist. It's a graveyard of indecision.

The problem isn't that you have too many names. It's that you don't have a method for eliminating them.

Why "just pick your favourites" doesn't work

Most advice says: sit down together, go through the list, and narrow it down. This sounds reasonable. In practice, it turns into an hour-long negotiation where one person advocates passionately for Ottilie while the other sits quietly wondering how to veto it without causing a row.

The issue is that shortlisting together reintroduces all the social pressure that made the long list happen in the first place. You hedge. You keep names on the list to be diplomatic. The list stays long because cutting names feels confrontational.

The ranked vote

Here's what actually works: both of you score every name independently. No discussion, no shared screen.

Go through the full list on your own. Give each name a score from 1 to 10. Don't overthink it — first instinct, move on. When you're both done, combine the scores and sort by total. The names at the top are your real shortlist. The names at the bottom can go without argument, because neither of you rated them highly.

This works because it makes elimination feel mathematical rather than personal. You're not vetoing your partner's favourite — the numbers just put it lower on the list. And the names that survive are genuinely liked by both of you, not just tolerated by one.

From ten to three

Once you've got your ranked top ten, switch methods. Now you want gut reactions, not scores.

The Starbucks test: order a coffee under each name. Hear it called out by a stranger. Some names that looked lovely on paper will make you wince when someone shouts them across a café. Others will surprise you by sounding exactly right.

The Monday morning test: imagine introducing your child in the most boring context possible. A GP waiting room. A parent-teacher meeting. A phone call with the bank. If the name feels like it's trying too hard in those settings, it probably is.

The sibling test (even for a first child): say the name alongside any future siblings you might have. "This is Cosmo and... James" reveals a style clash you might not notice looking at Cosmo in isolation.

The final cut

You'll get to three or four names that survive every test. This is where most people stall, because the remaining names are all genuinely good. The temptation is to keep deliberating until one name "feels perfect."

It won't. Or rather, it will — about three days after the baby arrives and you've been using it. The name becomes the child, not the other way around.

Set a deadline. Pick before the birth if you can. Sleep deprivation and hormones don't improve decision-making. If you're stuck between two, write each one on a piece of paper, put them in a hat, and draw one. If you feel disappointed by the result, you have your answer. If you feel relieved, you also have your answer.

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One more thing

Kabbo automates the ranked-vote step: both of you swipe through the same names independently, and it surfaces the ones you both liked. But a shared spreadsheet and two columns of 1-to-10 scores gets you most of the way there. The method matters more than the tool.